She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
