My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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