And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
even my farts smell like vagina
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
