I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize