OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
