I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Randomize
