Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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