No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
