Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
