my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
