I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
