Sacagawea was the original milf.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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