Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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