Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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