Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
