The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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