I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
