Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
