remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
