do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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