1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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