I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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