I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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