matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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