I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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