I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
