this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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