I forgot how hot balto sounded
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
