Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
