your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
