i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
