he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
