lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
