The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
