O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
