Already got asked if we're dating
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
