I skipped work to stalk him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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