Dual....:-)
someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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