That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
