And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
