they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
