She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
