Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
