it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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