Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I booty called her while she was in labor.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
