I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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