i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
