I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
