there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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