is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
